Some days I still cannot believe it! I’m 13 weeks pregnant and all I have to show for it is a bloated stomach. I am delighted to share the big news a year after we moved into our new house! It feels like big things are happening (very quickly!) around here.
8 weeks pregnant
During most of my first trimester I was super worried that for some reason, I was going to lose the baby. After our somewhat difficult journey to conceive (my heart goes out to all the couples who have experienced this), I feared that this was too good to be true. That somehow this wonderful gift would suddenly be taken away from me. This entire time was an exercise of both thanking God but also relinquishing control to Him. Whatever happens, happens - I had to remember that God is good, all the time.
But after my 8th week sonogram where I saw my baby grow to have a head (and a butt!) from the tiny grain of rice it was at 6 weeks, I felt a bit of relief. It’s really growing inside of me! What made it most real was hearing the loud, quick ba-dump ba-dump of its heartbeat. Several times I said to my healthcare provider, “I can’t believe this is real!”
It’s starting to take shape!
Now that I’m in my second trimester, I feel a tiny bit more relaxed. Relaxed enough to share the news with my coworkers! But I still have some inkling of doubt. I read about other people’s devastating losses at 20, 24 weeks on the internet (why do I do this to myself?). Until it’s here in my arms, I might always carry this tiny bit of worry inside me. I look forward to every single doctor’s visit when I get to hear the reassurance of the baby’s heartbeat. I’m always a little surprised to hear it going strong! HB and I thank God every day for my good health, relatively mild pregnancy symptoms, and a developing baby. I want this to be my first thought in the morning when I wake up: “I’m grateful to be alive. I’m grateful that my child is healthy and growing.”
To distract myself from worries, I’ve been going down the YouTube rabbit hole of parenting, newborn “must-haves,” and birthing videos. My new hobbies now include designing my kid’s nursery (more on this soon!) and putting together our baby registry. You can say that I’m nesting pretty hard right now. Every weekend is dedicated to home projects, shopping for the baby, and getting the nursery set up. HB has been super supportive in this regard - but I wonder when he’ll want to quit the shopping! One my favorite moments was picking out children’s books together. We will get to share our favorite stories like Corduroy, The Giving Tree, and Charlotte’s Web with our kid.
I’d love to hear how your pregnancy journey was/is going!